by STRONG | Jul 2, 2015 | Learn + Grow
Who is responsible for your happiness? In a nutshell happiness in its most basic form connects you with the inner most part of yourself. It creates the space for all other attributes to plant, grow roots and sprout up and blossom. We tend to think of happiness as this factious feeling that we cannot truly define in words, so we simply disconnect from the idea that it is a necessary individual attribute that should be paramount, especially when you want to engage in being apart of anything that involves anyone other than just you.
In 2013, Harris Poll conducted a poll that showed that 1/3 of people in the United States consider themselves happy. In other words, about 67% of Americans are unhappy with their lives. Lets look at that percentage for a minute, 67% of people are unhappy for something we as individuals have control over plaques the US population. Many of those in that percentage being in their 20’s and 30’s, or Generation Y, as they are often called.
You would think that with the internet, social media and “reality” television people would be able to pin point and hone in on what brings them happiness, where to find it and how to nurture it. WRONG!!
Happiness is self-owning it should not be attached to anything, anywhere or anyone, because the moment you equate it with those things you release yourself of accountability for your happiness. Let’s be clear, you will never be able to fit in a box of other people’s happiness without compromising your own. Compromising is a character trait, not to be confused with a key attribute. Meaning going to the store to get the iPhone 5s in silver, but all they have is gold so you compromise and take what is available. Your life is not a compromise, your happiness it not a compromise.
You have to own your stuff. You cannot make excuses for the things that have affected your life and made your happiness waiver. See, here is the thing am I not saying you will walk around each day and only feel happiness? No! However, I am saying that it is your choice to be at the base of your pyramid, deciding what you are willing to hold up and what is weighing you down.
I am telling you this now, because you have to get this, RIGHT NOW; if you haven’t before today. Taking control of your happiness is not an option it is a requirement to live your best life. It will afford you the opportunity to live with intent. You will be able to communicate with others more effectively {because you know what we will and will not do}, embrace that NO is a complete sentence and own that you never have to apologize for your personal power {STRONGtip: stop apologizing for things you have no control over, be sympathetic, not apologetic}.
You are responsible for your happiness and if you don’t begin to close the gaps that reside in the foundation {happiness} no matter how pretty the building, it will eventually fall.
Be Inspired,
by STRONG | Jul 2, 2015 | Learn + Grow
“I’m sorry, I’m not sorry.” There was a commercial by Pantene about women saying sorry in situations where there was no need to apologize. That made me think, how often do women say sorry when we have no need to be? For instance, if you are in a meeting and a man may interject his point of view at any time he will never apologize for such. Yet, typically if you speak up in a meeting, you may apologize if a person looked like they were about to speak and you cut them off briefly. Or if they spoke at the same time you were about to say something then you may apologize. Why is that? What you need to say may be equally important, yet we as women learn it is rude to speak when someone else is speaking, so we apologize.
I think the biggest thing I’ve ever apologized for and watered down was my ambition. Being a woman and being overly ambitious seems to be looked down upon. Isn’t it possible to be an effective and amazing employee and your home life as a mother not suffer? Why shouldn’t we be able to aspire to do it all without apologizing that our goals and standards are high. We have apologized for shooting too high, aiming low, or kinda sorta stay in the middle. However, there should be no sorries given for high ambition. Sorry, I’m not sorry.
Is there a such thing as being overly ambitious? Can a person, more specifically a woman, be too ambitious? And if we are, is that wrong? Do we get labeled differently if we shoot for the stars, moon, and the sun? Are we just to shrink back because the world tells us we should? Sorry, I am not sorry that I love to learn and do as much as I can. My time on this earth is short, why not leave a legacy that will be told through the ages? I am sorry, I am not sorry that I have a goal to do such an ambitious task.
I do not want to be rude with my lack of apologies, but I will rather properly utilize the word sorry. We all should properly utilize the word sorry. The definition of sorry means that one is sympathetic of misfortune or in a pitiful state. Most times as women when we say sorry, we are doing it in a way to seek permission to do something. I know I have done this numerous times at work. I will walk up to a group of men clogging the hall and say sorry as I break up their impromptu hallway meeting. What do I need to be sorry for? Me walking through was not rude to them, yet it is so natural to apologize as if my presence created an issue. Well you know what, sorry, I am not sorry anymore.
We are not suppose to sit back and never give our input. It is not a terrible thing if we use our voice and speak up. There is nothing wrong with asking questions or providing answers. There is room enough in this world for women to lead and shine without apologizing for it. Absolutely nothing is wrong with speaking up, being ambitious, learning or asking questions. If you say sorry to seek approval or ask permission, then break that habit. Use the word sorry in appropriate settings. If you spill someone’s drink by accident, say you are sorry once and offer them a new one. That would be an appropriate usage of the word “sorry”. One must question the person, male or female, that is threatened by a lady’s presence. That lady should not have to apologize for being where she is intended to be. That would be an example of the wrong thing to be sorry about.
Apologizing when it is not necessary actually hurts our self esteem. In some way or another we feel we are not good enough, our voice does not matter, and that should warrant an apology. This should not be the case. Our voice does matter, our confidence rises when we do not apologize for something we did not do wrong. The more we speak up actually, the stronger our confidence becomes.
So what can you say, “sorry, I am not sorry” about now? Have you been apologizing because you received a promotion instead of celebrating it? Or perhaps you take care of your children and you did not clean the house so you have been unreasonably hard on yourself? Did you shrink back when you know you should have spoken up? Well today is the day and there is no moment better than now to stop apologizing for things you did not do wrong. Do not apologize for being a human, and most of all do not apologize because you are a woman. That Pantene commercial made a great point, there is no need to say sorry if you did no wrong.
Stand with me in no longer being sorry.
by Torrie Oglesby | Jul 2, 2015 | Learn + Grow
[ snaps fingers in Z formation ]
Here’s the honest truth, dreams don’t work, unless you work. Lately I’ve been so inspired by women who do what they say they want done. Women who, with all fearlessness, choose to begin their goals and in the sweating and building of their vision they learn what it takes to make a dream a reality. I’m surrounded by women who are constantly pushing themselves to achieve their goals but sadly I’m also surrounded and have been the woman, who knows her dreams but doesn’t know the bridge to making them a reality. The common thread between all the successful women I know is one tiny four letter word: WORK. At the end of the day that’s the only thing standing between you and your goals, dreams and vision for your life! Here’s some beginning tips for putting in work to build your empire.
- Research
This is one of the number one differences between successful women and women who are stagnant. Taking the time to properly research all the steps and information you need to know to begin your goal is important. Research doesn’t just mean reading books anymore, you can listen to podcasts, listen to audiobooks, watch YouTube videos, there’s countless tools out there today in our world, take advantage of them and take the time to listen and learn from the resources!
- Network
Plain and simple, people need people! I like to call networking “building your tribe.” Have people in your corner that 1, believe in you and 2, can help you succeed in the area that you are wanting to succeed in. This could be mentors, fellow business ladies, or even a positive family or friend. Push yourself in this area. Get outside of your comfort zone, meet new people that are successful in the area you want to be successful in and ask for them to share and teach you any wisdom they may have. Go to conferences, fairs regarding your goals, ect. Any program or group that can help with your goal, get in touch with and stay in touch!
- Build
This means to simply start. After and even during researching and networking begin your weekly goals that are going to get you to your final goal. For example, if your final goal is to have a book published by the end of the year, your weekly goals could be something along the lines of dedicating X amount of hours a day to writing or if your dream is to have a youtube channel up and running by November, a weekly goal can be saving $50 dollars a week for equipment. The goal is to break the big dream into weekly habits that will allow you to arrive to your goal and dream on time. Now get to work and build that dream!
p.s. I’m in your corner cheering you on!! You better work girl!
`With love and big smiles,
torrie.
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