by Torrie Oglesby | Jan 26, 2016 | Family + Relationships
I’m going to go ahead and assume that if you’re a woman you are a giver. The days and weeks of your life consists of serving others. You freely give your time, your energy and the best of yourself to your loved ones. This is such a good quality and the true mark of a servers’ heart. However we often get lost in making sure everyone else is taken care of that we forget to take care of ourselves. I can always tell when I haven’t taken care of myself by my attitude. The minute serving becomes burdensome instead of enjoyable or when I start going through the motions and not be intentional with every action and move is when I know it’s time to stop and treat myself.
I recently fell into a huge writing slump. If you’re a writer you know how scary these slumps can be. It feels as if you’re stuck on sticky tap and can’t find a way to get unstuck. For a whole week, I couldn’t jot down one sentence let alone a word for my novel. I was paralyzed at this certain part of my story and it was looking like it was going to be a long road back to the light. Luckily, I have a husband who knows me inside and out and he came home from work one day and simply said, “On Saturday, you’re going to go take some time to be alone.” It’s amazing how our loved ones know truths about us before we can see them. I agreed and all of a sudden I was looking forward to Saturday morning, a date with myself, and a chance to gain a new perspective.
Saturday morning came, I got up early, before the babies, got dressed and headed out! With my laptop, charger, phone, and headphones in a tote I was ready to write and be renewed by time well spent with myself. As I sat down and was prepared to write I was still in a major slump. So I read a little, listened to music and even called an old friend of mine to catch up and laugh. By feeding myself, I got inspired and just like that the floodgates of my creativity burst open and I was able to jot down 4,000 words!!! The light was nearer than I thought, it just required me to put myself first and allow my creativity to be feed. If you starve yourself, you’ll end up being unhealthy. Same with your spiritual/mental body. If you starve your spirit and mind of love and nurture for ITSELF, then you’re going to be unhealthy and insufficient. Ladies, while I love that we are servers and that that’s a true reflection of our creator, I also want you guys to remember to TREAT YO SELF in order to give to yourself and others in a healthier and happier way.
What will you do this week to treat yo self? Let us know in the comments below!
With love and big smiles,
Torrie.
by Torrie Oglesby | Jan 23, 2016 | Learn + Grow
CP Patrick is a dare-devil, a dreamer, a doer, a daughter, a wife, a mother, and a woman that you need to know. She exudes confidence, power, love and womanhood! I met her through her Instagram and immediately knew that this was a woman I wanted to know and be by, in order that her amazingness might rub off on me. After liking all her posts for about a year, I finally decided to reach out to her! Read on to learn more about the spectacular creation that is Author CP Patrick.
- Tell us about your life before becoming a full-time writer?
Before I became a full-time writer, my life was crazy! I worked as a Policy Advisor for the US Department of Energy. Our office was tasked with some of the White House’s top priorities, so it was intense. I would work my full-time job, come home in the evening, and do what I call the family time-dinner-nighttime shuffle. Once everyone was in bed, I would go into my office and write until 2am. Crazy! And not very healthy.
- Quitting your job had to be frightening! What were some liberating parts of it, and what were some hard parts?
Quitting my full-time job was indeed scary because I had worked in the energy sector for the past ten years. Energy policy was very familiar, whereas writing was this new venture. I had so much to learn, especially as an indie author. But I just felt like it was exactly what I supposed to be doing—writing fiction and fantasy about the African diaspora. I had never been happier, so I decided to take the leap. The most liberating part was Waking up and realizing that I had done it. I was following my heart and doing something that I was passionate about, something that gave me so much joy. I kind of felt like a rock star. 🙂 The hardest part was the first two weeks after I left my job—there was no automatic paycheck. It was real. Lol
- What was the breaking point? What made you finally choose your passion over everything else?
Well, the breaking point sort of had this momentum. I published The Truth About Awiti in March 2015. Then it made Amazon’s Best Sellers List in April. By May I had an agent. And throughout there were book clubs and speaking engagements, and with every event I just felt more and more certain this was my destiny. And I was tired. I was really tired working full time and writing. I knew I couldn’t keep going at the same hectic pace. If had to choose one, I knew it would definitely be writing. When I spoke with my husband about it, he actually said, “I knew this was coming.” And then he encouraged me to go for it (because he’s so wonderful. I’m very blessed to have such a supportive spouse).
- What made you so passionate about African-American history, and how in the world did you decide you wanted to mix that with fantasy in your debut novel?
It’s funny because while I have a JD, I also have a BA and MA in African and African-American Studies. Not many people know that because of my career in law and policy. But I have always been passionate about the history and people of the African diaspora. I actually discovered the premise for The Truth About Awiti in graduate school. It was the first time I heard the theory of the spirits of slaves being embodied in the winds of hurricanes. Because I love fiction, fantasy, and folklore, that theory always stuck with me. I decided to write The Truth About Awiti as part of National Novel Writing Month 2014. And here we are!
- Take us through a day in your life. How does it start? What’s in between, and how do you finish your song of the day?
I live the life of a creative—there is no schedule! Just kidding. The mornings and evenings are pretty much the same. I try and wake up before my husband and daughter to have a little “me” time. So that’s 5:30am–6:00am. I recently started the devotional Thirty-One Days of Prayer for the Dreamer and the Doer by Jenn Sprinkle and Kelly Rucker. It’s wonderful. Then it’s time for breakfast and getting my family out the door by 7am. Between 7am–4pm, anything goes—social media, photo shoots, responding to emails, marketing, taking a much-needed nap, meetings/discussions with other authors, and of course, writing and editing. It’s amazing how quickly the time flies by. 4pm–9pm is devoted to dinner, family time, and occasionally, a deadline or two. Then at 9pm I catch up on anything I needed to respond to between 4pm and 9pm. I try really hard to get in bed by 10, but some days it just doesn’t happen. But I can always take a nap the next day if I need to. I’m big on naps. 😉
- Who has been your biggest inspiration in life?
I know it sounds cliché, but my mother. She’s so cute, funny, and amazing. I could just eat her up with a spoon! And elderly women in general. I don’t know how they did it back in the day! With less resources and what not. I remember complaining to my mother one night about how tired I was, and she said, “Umph! Your generation has it so much easier. You don’t even have to cut your own lettuce!” Of course, I went and looked in our refrigerator, and we had bagged salad. I couldn’t stop laughing.
- What has been your biggest struggle in life, and how has it made you who you are today?
I think my biggest struggle has been discovering God’s purpose for my life. I think we hear His voice early on but then something happens where we are discouraged or afraid to pursue the thing He’s placed in us to do. Then, when we finally step into it, it’s this crazy and exciting rollercoaster of blessings and opportunities. Even the disappointments are exciting because you know they are part of His plan. It’s not a coincidence that I have a strong educational background in African and African-American Studies. This was His purpose all along, but perhaps I had to go through the painful and difficult times to understand and appreciate my calling. I’ve finally found it! Writing fiction and fantasy interwoven with the African diaspora experience was placed on my heart a long time ago. And it’s just like in The Alchemist— when you truly want something with all your heart, all the world conspires to help you achieve it.
- What is your advice to all our #GIRLBOSS readers?
My advice for girl bosses is stop thinking so much about what can go wrong. Instead, focus on what can go right. Phenomenal women have blazed a path to greatness so follow their lead. And don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way.
by Altimese Nichole | Jan 17, 2016 | Learn + Grow
I have been blessed beyond measure. As I prepare for the next year- I am reflecting on all that has been achieved this year and the many years before. Within this year, I’ve had the pleasure of working with amazing people, being promoted twice, getting married to my best friend, and I am finally finding true peace on my journey. Walking in purpose for me was more than a desire or wish, it was a necessity at a very early age. I can’t recall that moment that something clicked in me that purpose matters— but when it did, I followed with all that I had. It is a beautiful thing to not only discover purpose in life, but to live in your purpose.
If you’re looking for your purpose, here are some things that helped me along the way, that I would like to share with you:
- Find out who YOU are Where your Source Resides
Among finding your purpose, we must first recognize the core of you.Who are you? Truly. What’s your truth; when you’re most authentic, most comfortable, most aware and filled with freedom? When this place is discovered, purpose can be found. As you find out who you truly are, it’s inevitable to overlook your Source of being. I realized that when I placed my source on tangible things or earthly things– my happiness and joy became dependant upon that tangible source, which made me extremely unstable and unable to plant myself in true security of knowing, “I am safe, here in my truth.” For me, it’s God. It was hard for me to find my purpose and passion and not seek Him first.
- Ask yourself, “If I could do anything in this world with no limitations, what would it be.”
This for me was discovered, when I was a child– and my mother noticed it. I loved talking and I craved relationships. I make friends very easily, I still do (now with a wisdom-guided compass). I LOVE relationships. Not just the good things but the moments of growth that many people consider to be the downsides of relationships. It is in those moments, that we grow into our authentic voice and relationships become deeper than the superficial connections. I can also talk a lot (my love for both birthed my desire for writing, so I’ve always kept a journal to release the things that I felt wasn’t ready to be spoken in the world). Fast forward years later into adulthood and I’ve studied Communications and Management, worked at my childhood dream job, stumbled into Public Relations, used social media as my core skillset– made a decision to switch to marketing, and now building on that foundation through building an organization’s greatest asset; their people. All of this involves those two things of communication and relationships.
Find your passion. Truly ask yourself this question and embrace your soul’s response. We think that we fear failure but often times we fear the success that follows if we pursue our dreams. Dare to dream and have the courage to move toward that dream.
- Become a student to life and to all you encounter
It would be total deception to believe that my purpose was discovered and fulfilled on my own. It’s not true. The first person who helped me was my mother and there are MANY others along the way. After graduating from undergrad, I had all the passion but I was very naive to the importance of being teachable. I thought that my passion was enough– and it was not. Passion is not enough. It is an important key but there are other keys to walking into purpose. The door of my unthinkable didn’t truly open until I opened myself up to truly becoming a student to life. I was already great at being an academic student but there were people in my path that succeeded at the things I wanted. It wasn’t until I allowed my soul to learn from those people (through humility and a welcoming spirit).
Passion can most definitely get you there. However, developed character and integrity will help keep you there. These two things happen through adverse times or the wisdom of others. The path we take can sometimes be up to us.
It blows me away that all things I’ve dreamed about as a child and as a teen have been manifesting before my very eyes– and to think that it’s not close to being over is astonishing. There’s no luck here– only abundant grace–from God, and intention– from myself. You can do the same and I hope that this article helps spark the internal conversation that’s needed to shift your life to you mind-blowing life journey.
XOXO
by Kiersten Homalon | Jan 16, 2016 | Learn + Grow
I love how it feels when the Holidays roll around. There is always that magic in the air. Even though Christmas can stir up some feelings of missing family and friends the magic and spirit seems to cover all of that with a blanket of thankfulness. I love that. People are kinder, and everyone is more generous.
Then the year comes to a close, and often people choose one of two avenues.
- Same old Same old path
For some nothing changes. They continue their habits and choices and routine without missing a beat! And that is ok for some!
- Pep in the Step
Many See the new year as something to Attack! They go full force into a completely different life style and uproot all they know to be better, stronger, healthier and more successful in the new year!
Both of these CAN be good. But in many cases people in the first group never feel that pump in their heart for the year that could be the first of many years that creates life long POSITIVE change!
And the Second group are the Cliche Burnouts. The people who crowd the gym for the first two months of the new year and then you see them less and less each year.
What if there were a few key thoughts that could guide your steps to creating POSITIVE change in your new late that would last and domino into the next year…… BUILD and domino even MORE POSITIVE change in to the next new year!
And so on!
I believe that these 5 focuses are a good start to that avalanche of goodness!
- Reflect on the Year
I am a firm believer that we cannot embark on anything new without reflecting on what had past. This is especially true when trying to tweak your habits, and lifestyle for the better!
Some things to take into account are:
-The good things in the year (Things you over came, habits you formed, weight you lost, friends you made, businesses you built and the relationship with The Man Upstairs you invested in)
-The not so good things: Things you let slip through the cracks (The goals you set for the year, bad habits that resurfaces, mistakes that were made, and decisions that were made, the lack of time spent with friends, family or most importantly The Father!)
- Set New Goals
Setting new Goals is a great way to create excitement and passion going into the new year! Having big dreams is only sweet when paired with goals that make baby steps to achieving those Big Mama Dreams!
- Set Deadlines
Setting dates and specifics next to each Goal is so key to keeping your eyes on the prize. This is also a good tool for those inevitable times when passion cools, and when we get a little off track! Knowing that that date is creeping up on you helps to get your head right back in the game!
- Find an Accountable Partner
No one likes to admit that they are off track or not making the best decisions when they know they can do better! So confide in your spouse or reliable friend your goals… and yes the deadlines! This will ensure that you keep the heat tuned up!
- Be involved in Your Home Church
This was a curve ball wasn’t it? All of your Goals, Dreams and Talents are blessings and callings from the Lord. So naturally we need to bring them back to The House of The Lord to put it into its biggest and most useful outlet. And honestly I envision it being exactly that: an Electrical Outlet! Plug into the House of the Lord and you have a non-stop flow of encouragement, accountability, prayer and of course The Holy Spirit to guide your way!
These 5 Steps are a great tool to start you 2016 with VIGOR! I think we all know that those hard times in each year come and go. However, if we have the back bone to our lives; which is non-other than Christ Our Lord, Eyes fixed on our Goals, and Our time plugged into The House of The Lord then it is guaranteed that you will gain ground in this next year! So Lets pray for those bad habitual tendencies to be broken, the passion to never die out, CLARITY in what you’re called to do on this Earth, and Generosity with your time and investment into the lives of others!
So What do you say? Are You going to have enduring VIGOR this New Year!?
Have Grit Sweet Ones,
Kiersten Homalon
by Taylor Gardner | Jan 16, 2016 | Learn + Grow
I am not sure what it is about a new year that makes people want to change their life around, but like many people it happens to me every year. And by February 1st I have already given up on everything I said I would change. However, this year I decided to approach my New Year’s resolution a little differently. So before 2016 started, I decided to pull out my journal, grab a poster board and my computer, and began reflecting on all that 2015 has taught me. Then I thought about how I am going to use the lessons learned to make 2016 a better year.
Now this time my “new year’s resolutions” are a little different. Instead of making resolutions that were extremely unrealistic, I tried to write down statements that would help change over time. Then instead of just making a list that I would forget in a week, I decided to make a vision board, so I am reminded of my goals everyday I start morning. I have always been a fan of vision boards, but this was the first time that I made my own and it was quite rewarding. Everyday I am reminded of what I need to accomplish and how my life will look once I do.
Here are my goals for 2016:
- Put myself outside of my comfort zone as often as possible.
- Less fast food, more home-cooked and balanced meals
- More quality time with God
- More me time: Reading, exercising, writing
- Try new things and visit new places.
- Save, save, save
- Don’t allow toxic people or things in my life
So, for anyone that is sort of stuck in the New Year rut, I seriously recommend reflecting on 2015 and making a vision board for what you want to accomplish in 2016. You got this, even after the month of January!
Taylor G.
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