by Kiersten Homalon | Jan 8, 2016 | Family + Relationships
Most know that parenting a strong willed toddler, especially a girl toddler, is well, trying. I am blessed with a two year old daughter that has somehow bottled up the vigor of a lion inside of her little frame. She is hilarious beyond her years, and stubborn to the point of maternal mental break downs. Yes, she is going to be a woman with grit I have no doubt. I am so thankful for her just the way she is! I constantly pray for wisdom as her mother, and I am one to hold my parenting to a standard that sometimes, well most times, has to be replaced with the Grace and Forgiveness of God. And after a moment that happened in the shuffle to get my daughter to bed in a timely manner, I heard the whisper of the Lord remind me what my roll is in her life right now as her mother, and that is to “Remind her what she IS”.
This may seem like something a little intense when raising a toddler however, I have found that its actually the simplicity that makes it so difficult. With there being billions of parenting books, blogs, suggestions (most often times unwanted) from family members and friends, and the stigma that haunts most mothers: our compulsion to compare our parenting to others. With all of these forces combined it seems impossible to know what path or style to choose for your child. We all have this idealistic way we want to parent, because we have the idealistic way we want our children to turn out in our heads. Honestly, what parent doesn’t WANT their children to be Happy and Ambitious about their faith and their life! That is the best as a mother, to have happy children! But in the midst of a Toddler melt down, and trying to steer the discipline boat, I ran onto a mound that encouraged me to redirect the sails of this ship.
When my daughter gets tired there is a FINE line between going to bed peacefully and the tipping point where all emotion, and reason fly out the window and she becomes a mess. Last night was one of those nights. As I put her in the bed and tried to reason with her, I told her “You are not listening to mommy, you do not scream at mommy, you are not being kind, you are not doing what mommy and daddy are asking you.” And then she stopped crying, looked at me and quivered her little lip and burst out, “I don’t have Jesus in my heart anymore!?” With a questioning look on her little face. I lost it. I cried out and scooped her up. And in that moment God whispered, “Tell her what she IS!” So I expressed to her that even if we do things that are not what we should that NOTHING and NOONE can take Jesus out of our hearts, not even ourselves! One he is in our hearts he is what we call “Happily Stuck”. She calmed down and we were able to snuggle, I felt so compelled to tell her how much she is loved by me but by Jesus EVEN MORE! I couldn’t believe that at her age she is already thirsty for these type of reassurances and answers in her life. I don’t think that it was wrong to discipline her in the way I did, but now when I want to correct or direct her, I want to do it by reminding her WHAT SHE IS, and that is a Child of God. THAT is the most important thing I can do as her mommy.
3 John 1:4 “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in Truth.”
Have Grit Sweet Ones,
Kiersten
by Altimese Nichole | Dec 20, 2015 | Family + Relationships
It’s holiday season is a time when many of us travel to be with loved ones, family and close friends. We show kindness to the ones we loves through great food, time, laughter, and gifts. We’re sounded by Christmas Carols, eggnog, and beautiful lights on the Christmas tree.
On the contrary, this is also a time of year where people are reminded of loved ones who have passed away, relationships that didn’t last, and dreams that haven’t yet manifested in the time desired. People who are going through these feelings and moments of pain suffer in silence. They smile and share laughs through standard conversation and cry silently behind closed doors. As those around them share sentiments of joy, they wear a mask to hide tears and sadness. Through the pain, they allow thoughts and memories to dig a deeper wound of pain—which makes their silent turmoil almost unbearable.
As we prepare for Christmas and the New Year, let’s make it a priority to be kind and intentional toward all of those around us. Let’s hug a little longer, show care and concern with authenticity, and give love freely and in abundance. Those suffering rarely open up to cry for help, so your love could be the very thing to help them get through this season.
by Torrie Oglesby | Nov 24, 2015 | Family + Relationships
Dear Daughter,
I know you look at me and see Super-Mama, as that is what you call me when I fix your boo-boo’s or find your toy that you thought had gone missing forever. You feel safe in my arms as I read bedtime stories to you and pray over you before we go to sleep. You feel confident when I say “Great Job!” or “Wow! What an awesome idea.” You feel brave when I remind you that God makes you mighty and strong and you realize that you can conquer anything, even your stinky little brother. I know through your eyes I am unbreakable and super even when I have to correct you, you look at me with those forever hopeful eyes and understand why mommy got upset with you. I have a major secret to tell…are you ready?
My superhero armor is only this strong because of you. You see before you I really only thought about myself. My days were filled with what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. I was pretty lost, just doing what everyone else was doing and felt so empty. Then you came into our lives, forever changing it by adding more color, boldness, and truth disguised in tutu’s and singing. I feel super when I get to help you in any way. You make me feel safe when you ask to cuddle up with me or kiss my head when you know I have a headache. You give me confidence by asking me questions and truly wanting to know the answer. You fill me up with bravery every morning that we are blessed to wake up and start our days. I feel unbreakable, I feel strong and powerful because of you. All my superhero qualities are a product of you.
So I guess what I want to say is thank you. Thank you for finding me, believing in me, trusting me and molding me into this confident Super-Mama! Thank you for all the lessons and the plot twist that you often bring about and thank you for being you so fearlessly and unapologetically. Thank you for pulling out the Super hero in me. I love you daughter.
Love mama!
Torrie Oglesby
by Altimese Nichole | Nov 24, 2015 | Family + Relationships
Love is a universal language that everyone loves, accepts, and craves. However the style of the love language differs for every individual on earth. While love resonates best for some through quality time, others prefer acts of service or words of affirmation. Which language are you? Which languages are those closest to you?
The 5 love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch and Gifts. We all receive love through them all but they are normally ranked differently for every individual. Here are some ways to speak each of these for the loved ones in your life.
Words of Affirmation
- After completing a task, project, or chore around the house- tell the person “You did an amazing job!â€
- Always say “Thank You†and tell them you appreciate their presence in your life
- Never seek a reason to say, “I Love You.†Just tell them at random times to show you’re thinking of them
- Verbally encourage the person when they’re going through; become their cheerleader!
Acts of Service
- Intentionally seek ways to lighten their to-do list
- Always show that you’re reliable and dependable
- For your spouse, do things around the house for them without them asking
Quality Time
- Make an effort to call them randomly throughout the week to check on them
- Seek ways to spend time with them (whether via skype, phone call, or in person—which is always best), and hold to your appointment
- Never make it a habit with cancelling “datesâ€
Physical Touch
- If it’s your spouse, warmly embrace them often; If it’s a friend, hug them or link arms with them when you reconnect.
- For a spouse, understand that physical touch is more than just physical intimacy or sex. Touch them daily when you pass by them. (It doesn’t matter where but the graze of your touch reminds them of being wanted).
- For a spouse, hold hands often; for a friend, make a secret handshake or fist bump often.
Gifts
- The size of the gift doesn’t (normally) matter. Take the time to LISTEN to the things your loved ones speak about and buy them something that aligns with the things they discuss. For example, if they love fashion, gift them with a subscription for a Fashion Magazine.
- Randomly buy them their favorite chocolate/items/ thing.
- If they tell you what they want— just buy that! That shows that you’re listening.
If you’ve never done so, I encourage you to take the 5 Love Language assessment and encourage those you love to do the same! There are tests for couples, singles, and more!
Learn the languages of love and you can speak directly to the hearts of those you love most!
Share with us your love language and way’s you’ve taken time to speak the love language of others!
by Altimese Nichole | Nov 7, 2015 | Family + Relationships
For years, I told myself and others that I wasn’t a fan of long distance relationships. In addition to the distance, the communication and connection is harder to maintain… or so I thought. It’s funny that as I look at my closest relationships, they tend to live out of state (and my husband and I were dating long distance for a year before he moved to my area).
The main fear of long distance relationships often involve the lack of connection or the extensive obligation that many think it requires. However, when you care about someone—distance becomes minor and you find ways to stay connected. It could be a simple text message periodically to say hello, mailing cards on special occasions, or making the effort of calling to stay actively involved in your loved one’s life.
Instead of seeing long distance relationships as form of obligation or work, let’s simply allow them to be filled with effort through our love. In the midst of life’s busyness—imagine the amount of appreciation your loved one would feel simply by hearing your voice although you’re miles away.
Maintaining long distance relationships aren’t as scary as they seem- they just need two people willing to express love and appreciation in more ways than one.
How have your experiences been with long distance relationships?
by Altimese Nichole | Nov 3, 2015 | Family + Relationships
I never truly understood the importance of having a peaceful home until I became a wife. It was important to me as a single woman but when joining lives with another person- peace began to have a different meaning.
Peace became sacred, covered, protected, and shield from harm and unwanted outside forces. I am not intentional with how I set the tone in my house, which ultimately guided the mood of all who walks into the doors.
Here are some of the ways that help me to keep and maintain a peaceful home:
- Declutter and maintain order
A clean home is not only inviting, but it helps with the positive vibes and energy of the home. When I first moved on my own, I would dedicate a day to cleaning and do a extensive cleanse of my house. But in the midst of home, family, work, and all other things that’s on our plates—it’s become difficult to do that. So now, every night I have a routine of “tidying” up, room by room. I put away blankets, put all dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down my countertops, and go intentionally through the home to prepare it for the next day. While doing so, I make it a point to slowly calm my mind from the day. It helps me to not go to bed and have my mind still racing. The clean aura of the home creates a welcoming feeling each morning and an inviting space every evening.
- Be Mindful of the company you invite to your home
I LOVE spending time with people. However, I can probably tell you all people who have entered the doors of my home. Every person contains 3 things; a body, a soul, and a spirit. Spirits are transferrable. Have you ever noticed that if you hang around someone who is angry long enough, you will find yourself being short tempered over time? When creating a peaceful environment, intention and discernment are your best friends. Be careful the people you bring into your personal space— especially since motives and intentions are unseen.
- Bless Your Home
Since I can remember, my mother blessed our home with oil. It would be a simple bottle of olive oil that she would pray over—and she will then pray over herself and walk each room with word of prayer and a heart of surrender. Now, as a wife of my own home, I find myself doing the same. Instead of olive oil, I use died sage (which is very similar to burning incense). I start at my front door and go to every corner of my home, ending back at my door and opening the door to allow any unwanted spirits to leave. I wish I could explain the aftermath of it but I can only compare it to PEACE. This has now become a part of my prayer/personal time with God that I look forward to, while increasing my intent to cleanse my home
Peace is provided to us all but we must become intentional to maintain it. What are some of the things you do to help maintain peace in your home?
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