by Torrie Oglesby | Jul 6, 2015 | Family + Relationships
Fun like This.
It’s summertime and because of that we are spending a lot of time out and about having fun in our city! Last week we were at the sprinkle water park and so many kids were there. My three year old daughter, Journey, is very social and doesn’t know a stranger, however she’s also very content with playing by herself. In a room filled with people you can sometimes find her make believing all by herself and having a blast. I often push her to play with other people and tell her that we play by ourselves when we’re at home and we get to play with others when we’re out and usually she agrees and runs off to find someone to play with. Well on this particular day she had a different view.
I called her over and said “Hey, how about we play with the other kids while we’re here.” And she simply said, “But I’m having fun like this.”
As much as I want her to be social, I also want her to be okay with being alone. In this moment she reminded me that it’s perfectly okay to do your own thing in the middle of the crowd. That being alone isn’t wrong and that being able to be your own best friend and “have fun like this” is just as important as making friends. May we all be as content and confident with solitude the way my three year old daughter was in that moment.
Learning from motherhood,
torrie.
by STRONG | Jul 6, 2015 | Learn + Grow
Friendship by definition is the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. But what does it truly mean to be a “friend”? There are ten essential aspects of being a true friend….
1. Trust
Without trust your friendship has no foundation, you are not capable of communicating and expressing your true honesty. A true friend can be truthful about feelings, values, goals and desires without hesitation. With trust in a friendship both parties know that the other person won’t hurt them intentionally or do anything to break that trust. Having trust in a friendship is the most valuable detail to having a healthy long lasting friendship.
2. Communication
Communication is a method of enabling people to deeply identify with each other, and, thus, gradually develop the ability to feel close to each other. Having good communication in a true and long-term friendship can be the difference between and argument and understanding.
3. Honesty
As a true friend it is your duty to tell the truth, even when you know the truth may hurt and possibly even cost you your friendship. Honesty is a direct line to trust, if you can not be honest with your friend you are not being your true self. In turn, you are not operating with the intent of giving and receiving the good and the bad of the friendship, you want to conform…not confront when it is time to be honest.
4. Reliability
A true friend understands the importance of time and respects it. Being their when it really counts separates the friends for the foes. Friends sacrifice for the things that matter and if they can’t be there they inform in advance(minus an emergency). Be accountable for your actions or lack of when you are needed.
5. Respect
By definition respect is a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable or important. A true friend should add value to your life in some way. When things hold value you honor them as such, you go the extra mile and you understand when it may be difficult. Respect is earned, but it is first found within. Talk to your friend to understand if you have the same respect levels, if not adjust accordingly.
6. Selflessness
A friendship requires more than one person. Thus, you have to have a clear and concise understanding about what you are willing to give of yourself and accept that your friend may not have the same capacity. Understanding just how selfless you are is key in setting your expectations in friendship.
7. Loyalty
When you say ” I will be there”, “Don’t worry”, I have your back” these are not just phrases, these are verbal commitments that you have ensured to your friend you will uphold. Make sure that it is a mutual understanding by all parties what their definition of loyalty looks like. Outline it so their is no misunderstanding, “my loyalty is to ______ and then you”. It seems harsh, but if everyone is honest there is less room for dysfunction and uncertainty. It is imperative to understand that loyalty is like trust; once it is in question it takes time to reestablish.
8. Patience
Patience is a learned behavior it is developed over time. When you nurture a friendship it is a learning process, you get to know the corks of the other person. However, you have preconceived pet peeves you’ve likely had for sometime, but you have to take in to consideration that you may have to from time to time visit those peeves. Truth is patience is a sign of maturity, so think of it as growth.
9. Constructive Criticism
The delivery and receipt of constructive criticism is paramount. If you can not take or receive constructive criticism, you will never have a true friend or be a true friend. You will forever be surrounded by “yes women” or simply never hold your friend accountable for their actions. A true friend can receive and give corrective criticism in love, while being honest about their insight.
10. Forgiveness
Knowing when the “thing” is so much smaller than your pride is big is forgiveness at its core. Apologizing first does not make you weak or invalidate your point. It simply says to the other person you are worth more than a misunderstanding and words said or unsaid. The ability to understand that forgiveness places no blame it replaces what was once in disarray back into perspective is priceless in a friendship.
So, the next time you think about how great of a friend your are, take a step back and revisit these few key attributes of being a wholehearted friend, a true friend. They aren’t any shows that show you how to be a better friend, when to give up on a friendship or when things are bad how to get back to “why” you were friends in the first place. In parting I leave you with this, evaluate your friendships as often you would your relationship. If it does it grow you, inspire you and bring you joy decide if it is worth holding on to. If it does, make sure you are doing your part to ensure you are actively living up to the title of a true friend. If not, be okay with being a colleague, associates, business partners or acquaintance and leave the beauty of friendship to those who have the guts to be all in!
Be Inspired,
by Torrie Oglesby | Jul 2, 2015 | Learn + Grow
“This is for the little brown girls…”
That’s the mantra Misty Copeland chants while she rehearses for her groundbreaking, history making role in Igor Stravinsky’s Firebird.
When you picture a ballerina you most likely see a thin, fare skinned, tall girl who has no curves and hair that lays flat easily. This is not the case with Misty Copeland. She breaks all stereotypes and challenges us to ask ourselves “What does a ballerina look like?” In her book, Life in Motion, an unlikely ballerina, she shows us how her story was not always one of beauty, although she is now the only African American soloist dancing with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre, she certainly did not start there. Her story was extremely riveting, to the point that I found myself observing my life and asking “What’s stopping me from going after what I want?”
Misty did not come from the all American dream, with the white picket fence and the mother and father who loved each other and their kids more than anything. She came from an underprivileged home where she had multiple fathers, always moving with her mother and siblings, and as the title suggest, always in motion. She shares stories that leave your jaw on the floor and have you think “How in the world did this girl survive?” Her passion for dance and her will to push on and overcome the hardships that life hands you is, in my opinion, a super woman attribute. Not only did she overcome a lot, but she shares it in such an open way which takes vulnerability and bravery. She is truly inspiring and is an overcomer. If there’s one thing her story has taught me it is to always push forward and to let your passion guide you through out life. Also, as corny as this might sound it reminded me that I can be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. I don’t have to listen to what the world tells me but follow what God has placed in me.
She kept me on the edge of my seat for more than half way through the book. Towards the end the writing got a little redundant but regardless of the writing the story was allusive, artistic and heart wrenching that by the time it got a little boring, I was already so invested in it that I didn’t mind it that much. If you’re looking for a book that has a story that tugs at your heart and motivates your soul and perhaps awakens something in you to go after what you want, go pick up Misty Copeland’s Life in Motion, an unlikely ballerina, you won’t be disappointed.
Torrie’s rating (out of 5): 4 cups of coffee.
With love and big smiles,
torrie.
by Jasmine Shirley | Jul 2, 2015 | Lifestyle+Culture
Ingredients:
8 ounces fettuccine or your favorite pasta
1 tablespoon butter (or olive oil)
1 lb. shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning
2 cloves garlic, chopped
¼ cup dry white wine or chicken broth
1 cup heavy/whipping cream (can substitute with half/half or 8 oz. low fat cream cheese)
1 cup parmigiana reggiano (parmesan), grated
½ tablespoon Cajun seasoning or to taste
¼ cup green onion, sliced (optional)
Directions:
Start cooking the pasta.
Melt the butter in a pan over medium-high heat, toss the shrimp in the Cajun seasoning, add to pan and coo, about 2-3 minutes per side, and set aside.
Add the garlic to the pan and sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Deglaze the pan with the wine, add heavy cream, parmesan and Cajun seasoning and cook until it thickens a bit, about 3-5 minutes
Toss the pasta in with the Alfredo sauce along with the shrimp and serve garnished with green onions.
Jasmine
by Jasmine Shirley | Jul 2, 2015 | Lifestyle+Culture
Ingredients:
1 lb ground chicken
1 small onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tbsp parsley
2 tsp coriander
1 tsp cumin
½ tsp salt
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp pepper
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp ginger
¼ cayenne
Soak skewers in water for 30 minutes. Mix all ingredients together. Using your hands, form onto skewers. Broil 6-10 minutes or until chicken is completely cooked.
Credit: @closetcooking
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