Love is a universal language that everyone loves, accepts, and craves. However the style of the love language differs for every individual on earth. While love resonates best for some through quality time, others prefer acts of service or words of affirmation. Which language are you? Which languages are those closest to you?
The 5 love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch and Gifts. We all receive love through them all but they are normally ranked differently for every individual. Here are some ways to speak each of these for the loved ones in your life.
Words of Affirmation
- After completing a task, project, or chore around the house- tell the person “You did an amazing job!”
- Always say “Thank You” and tell them you appreciate their presence in your life
- Never seek a reason to say, “I Love You.” Just tell them at random times to show you’re thinking of them
- Verbally encourage the person when they’re going through; become their cheerleader!
Acts of Service
- Intentionally seek ways to lighten their to-do list
- Always show that you’re reliable and dependable
- For your spouse, do things around the house for them without them asking
- Make an effort to call them randomly throughout the week to check on them
- Seek ways to spend time with them (whether via skype, phone call, or in person—which is always best), and hold to your appointment
- Never make it a habit with cancelling “dates”
- If it’s your spouse, warmly embrace them often; If it’s a friend, hug them or link arms with them when you reconnect.
- For a spouse, understand that physical touch is more than just physical intimacy or sex. Touch them daily when you pass by them. (It doesn’t matter where but the graze of your touch reminds them of being wanted).
- For a spouse, hold hands often; for a friend, make a secret handshake or fist bump often.
- The size of the gift doesn’t (normally) matter. Take the time to LISTEN to the things your loved ones speak about and buy them something that aligns with the things they discuss. For example, if they love fashion, gift them with a subscription for a Fashion Magazine.
- Randomly buy them their favorite chocolate/items/ thing.
- If they tell you what they want— just buy that! That shows that you’re listening.
If you’ve never done so, I encourage you to take the 5 Love Language assessment and encourage those you love to do the same! There are tests for couples, singles, and more!
Learn the languages of love and you can speak directly to the hearts of those you love most!
Share with us your love language and way’s you’ve taken time to speak the love language of others!
For years, I told myself and others that I wasn’t a fan of long distance relationships. In addition to the distance, the communication and connection is harder to maintain… or so I thought. It’s funny that as I look at my closest relationships, they tend to live out of state (and my husband and I were dating long distance for a year before he moved to my area).
The main fear of long distance relationships often involve the lack of connection or the extensive obligation that many think it requires. However, when you care about someone—distance becomes minor and you find ways to stay connected. It could be a simple text message periodically to say hello, mailing cards on special occasions, or making the effort of calling to stay actively involved in your loved one’s life.
Instead of seeing long distance relationships as form of obligation or work, let’s simply allow them to be filled with effort through our love. In the midst of life’s busyness—imagine the amount of appreciation your loved one would feel simply by hearing your voice although you’re miles away.
Maintaining long distance relationships aren’t as scary as they seem- they just need two people willing to express love and appreciation in more ways than one.
How have your experiences been with long distance relationships?
I never truly understood the importance of having a peaceful home until I became a wife. It was important to me as a single woman but when joining lives with another person- peace began to have a different meaning.
Peace became sacred, covered, protected, and shield from harm and unwanted outside forces. I am not intentional with how I set the tone in my house, which ultimately guided the mood of all who walks into the doors.
Here are some of the ways that help me to keep and maintain a peaceful home:
- Declutter and maintain order
A clean home is not only inviting, but it helps with the positive vibes and energy of the home. When I first moved on my own, I would dedicate a day to cleaning and do a extensive cleanse of my house. But in the midst of home, family, work, and all other things that’s on our plates—it’s become difficult to do that. So now, every night I have a routine of “tidying” up, room by room. I put away blankets, put all dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down my countertops, and go intentionally through the home to prepare it for the next day. While doing so, I make it a point to slowly calm my mind from the day. It helps me to not go to bed and have my mind still racing. The clean aura of the home creates a welcoming feeling each morning and an inviting space every evening.
- Be Mindful of the company you invite to your home
I LOVE spending time with people. However, I can probably tell you all people who have entered the doors of my home. Every person contains 3 things; a body, a soul, and a spirit. Spirits are transferrable. Have you ever noticed that if you hang around someone who is angry long enough, you will find yourself being short tempered over time? When creating a peaceful environment, intention and discernment are your best friends. Be careful the people you bring into your personal space— especially since motives and intentions are unseen.
- Bless Your Home
Since I can remember, my mother blessed our home with oil. It would be a simple bottle of olive oil that she would pray over—and she will then pray over herself and walk each room with word of prayer and a heart of surrender. Now, as a wife of my own home, I find myself doing the same. Instead of olive oil, I use died sage (which is very similar to burning incense). I start at my front door and go to every corner of my home, ending back at my door and opening the door to allow any unwanted spirits to leave. I wish I could explain the aftermath of it but I can only compare it to PEACE. This has now become a part of my prayer/personal time with God that I look forward to, while increasing my intent to cleanse my home
Peace is provided to us all but we must become intentional to maintain it. What are some of the things you do to help maintain peace in your home?
From the moment we inhale our first breath of life, relationships are formed. Our young minds soak up the value of relationships through the visual behavior of the adults in our lives. We either learn the invested time needed to create strong relationships or we learn a lack of significance in maintaining the connections with others. Either path chosen, this all shapes our vision of relationships.
No matter how you decide to slice it, dice it, or divide it…relationships matter. They remind us that we’re never going through the journey alone. They help us grow. They help us move closer to our purpose. Through the good and bad, relationships are the very foundation of life- first beginning with our relationship with God.
Relationships are like gardens. They require time, patience, and a heart to nurture. Gardens that are unattended to eventually die and simply return to dust. They go through seasons of little growth and seasons of fruitful harvest. When we invest serious time, if we’re lucky—the seeds we plant become so deeply rooted that even when it “looks” as if there is no growth or activity on the surface, the roots continue to run deep.
Relationships are no different.
If you find yourself unsatisfied with the relationships that you’re surrounded by, evaluate the amount of time and care that you’re investing toward the core source of life.
Roll up your sleeves and nurture those gardens that we often call relationships.
We as wives have a personal responsibility for praying for our husbands. I mean, think about it, if you don’t pray for him fervently, then who will? I have found in my personal journey with my marriage that praying for my husband often stops me from nagging him and the fruit of praying for your husband goes beyond the physical world and into the spiritual world. There is a spiritual war going on all around us and the only thing that fights it is our faithful and fervent prayers. The devil is at work, fighting to get into our hearts and heads and the first place he goes to attack is the head of the home.
The Bible urges us in 1 peter 5:8, Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. We need to be alert and sober minded not only for us, not only for our children but for our husbands too. Physically, we can’t fight anything for our husbands but spiritually, we are prayer warriors, faithfully and fervently praying against every spirit that tries to attach itself to our husbands.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
It’s important to know that when your husband seems to be going through something, acting a certain way, or struggling with something that it’s not him that you need to be angry with, rather a spiritual force that is attacking him. We need to put on the full armor of God so that we can stand our ground and fight back. Don’t get angry at your husband, that’s what the enemy wants, you two divided and angry. Instead, focus your energy on praying against the enemy and get angry at him by praying fervently to our God. If you cover your husband with the blood of Jesus and His promises and words the enemy has to flee.
Our husbands are mighty and strong but that doesn’t mean they don’t need our prayers. Commit yourself to praying for your husband daily. I challenge you ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and insight on what exactly he is struggling with right now and watch the power of God move through him. Write your prayers down and be amazed at how God answers them. Pray for your man and watch it transform him and even you!
With love and big smiles,