by Torrie Oglesby | Oct 25, 2015 | Learn + Grow
Dear 20 something soul,
Something #6
BE THERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS
Time is too short. Life is unpredictable. The time you have with your friends now may not be there forever. People move, get married, get promotions and time vanishes. While you have the time be there for your friends. Boys come and go. Unless He has put a ring on it, don’t ever pass up a moment to be with your girlfriends for him. He can wait. Your friends matter. How you treat them matter. If you want to be close in your thirties then care about them, make time for them, and be there for them in your twenties.
Till next time,
20 something soul
by Altimese Nichole | Sep 16, 2015 | Family + Relationships
From the moment we inhale our first breath of life, relationships are formed. Our young minds soak up the value of relationships through the visual behavior of the adults in our lives. We either learn the invested time needed to create strong relationships or we learn a lack of significance in maintaining the connections with others. Either path chosen, this all shapes our vision of relationships.
No matter how you decide to slice it, dice it, or divide it…relationships matter. They remind us that we’re never going through the journey alone. They help us grow. They help us move closer to our purpose. Through the good and bad, relationships are the very foundation of life- first beginning with our relationship with God.
Relationships are like gardens. They require time, patience, and a heart to nurture. Gardens that are unattended to eventually die and simply return to dust. They go through seasons of little growth and seasons of fruitful harvest. When we invest serious time, if we’re lucky—the seeds we plant become so deeply rooted that even when it “looks” as if there is no growth or activity on the surface, the roots continue to run deep.
Relationships are no different.
If you find yourself unsatisfied with the relationships that you’re surrounded by, evaluate the amount of time and care that you’re investing toward the core source of life.
Roll up your sleeves and nurture those gardens that we often call relationships.
by STRONG | Jul 6, 2015 | Learn + Grow
Friendship by definition is the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. But what does it truly mean to be a “friend”? There are ten essential aspects of being a true friend….
1. Trust
Without trust your friendship has no foundation, you are not capable of communicating and expressing your true honesty. A true friend can be truthful about feelings, values, goals and desires without hesitation. With trust in a friendship both parties know that the other person won’t hurt them intentionally or do anything to break that trust. Having trust in a friendship is the most valuable detail to having a healthy long lasting friendship.
2. Communication
Communication is a method of enabling people to deeply identify with each other, and, thus, gradually develop the ability to feel close to each other. Having good communication in a true and long-term friendship can be the difference between and argument and understanding.
3. Honesty
As a true friend it is your duty to tell the truth, even when you know the truth may hurt and possibly even cost you your friendship. Honesty is a direct line to trust, if you can not be honest with your friend you are not being your true self. In turn, you are not operating with the intent of giving and receiving the good and the bad of the friendship, you want to conform…not confront when it is time to be honest.
4. Reliability
A true friend understands the importance of time and respects it. Being their when it really counts separates the friends for the foes. Friends sacrifice for the things that matter and if they can’t be there they inform in advance(minus an emergency). Be accountable for your actions or lack of when you are needed.
5. Respect
By definition respect is a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable or important. A true friend should add value to your life in some way. When things hold value you honor them as such, you go the extra mile and you understand when it may be difficult. Respect is earned, but it is first found within. Talk to your friend to understand if you have the same respect levels, if not adjust accordingly.
6. Selflessness
A friendship requires more than one person. Thus, you have to have a clear and concise understanding about what you are willing to give of yourself and accept that your friend may not have the same capacity. Understanding just how selfless you are is key in setting your expectations in friendship.
7. Loyalty
When you say ” I will be there”, “Don’t worry”, I have your back” these are not just phrases, these are verbal commitments that you have ensured to your friend you will uphold. Make sure that it is a mutual understanding by all parties what their definition of loyalty looks like. Outline it so their is no misunderstanding, “my loyalty is to ______ and then you”. It seems harsh, but if everyone is honest there is less room for dysfunction and uncertainty. It is imperative to understand that loyalty is like trust; once it is in question it takes time to reestablish.
8. Patience
Patience is a learned behavior it is developed over time. When you nurture a friendship it is a learning process, you get to know the corks of the other person. However, you have preconceived pet peeves you’ve likely had for sometime, but you have to take in to consideration that you may have to from time to time visit those peeves. Truth is patience is a sign of maturity, so think of it as growth.
9. Constructive Criticism
The delivery and receipt of constructive criticism is paramount. If you can not take or receive constructive criticism, you will never have a true friend or be a true friend. You will forever be surrounded by “yes women” or simply never hold your friend accountable for their actions. A true friend can receive and give corrective criticism in love, while being honest about their insight.
10. Forgiveness
Knowing when the “thing” is so much smaller than your pride is big is forgiveness at its core. Apologizing first does not make you weak or invalidate your point. It simply says to the other person you are worth more than a misunderstanding and words said or unsaid. The ability to understand that forgiveness places no blame it replaces what was once in disarray back into perspective is priceless in a friendship.
So, the next time you think about how great of a friend your are, take a step back and revisit these few key attributes of being a wholehearted friend, a true friend. They aren’t any shows that show you how to be a better friend, when to give up on a friendship or when things are bad how to get back to “why” you were friends in the first place. In parting I leave you with this, evaluate your friendships as often you would your relationship. If it does it grow you, inspire you and bring you joy decide if it is worth holding on to. If it does, make sure you are doing your part to ensure you are actively living up to the title of a true friend. If not, be okay with being a colleague, associates, business partners or acquaintance and leave the beauty of friendship to those who have the guts to be all in!
Be Inspired,
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