My husband and I are quickly approaching our one year anniversary and I cannot believe it!!! It’s so beautiful to me when I talk to friends who desire to be married and have a beautiful sparkle in their eye, signifying their hope toward one day experiencing a covenant love all their own. It reminds me of when I was her and she was me.
I remember having a conversation with a married friend years ago (she has been married for over eight years and my now husband and I were dating for three at that point). I said to her “I can’t wait to experience the beauty of marriage!” Her response was simply a soft-spoken response, “It’s not what you think it will be.” I immediately thought this:
Wow. Why would she say that? What does that mean? Maybe experiences allowed her to become jaded, but I will not allow them to get me to that place. I will never speak that same words to a woman dreaming and hoping for her time and season of marriage.
Now, almost 5 years later… I am meeting my dear friend for lunch as a married woman, almost one year in— and I get it. I get her beautiful, honest, yet graceful response to my inexperienced perspective. Her words years ago prepared planted a seed of remembrance for me.
When I think of her statement now, I ask for forgiveness for the judgement; I pray for her continued strength as a wife and mother; I pray for myself, that I may grow into that level of grace within my own marriage; and I remind myself to be gracefully honest with the women I love so dearly who desire to follow the same path.
Marriage is absolutely beautiful. It also requires an act of selfless love that we’ve never experienced before. Parenthood is an agape love through nature and nurture. When dealing with two grown adults, the act of agape must be learned and developed over time. I’ve so thankful for her love toward me to tell me an open truth, and I want to encourage other beautiful women with the same level of advice.
As you dream of your upcoming marriage that you’ve prayed for fervently, also pray for grace to see His creation through His eyes, and not your own. Our vision is flawed but His is the view of beauty that we desire.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day you either really hate it or you really love it, there is no in between. If you are like me, you could do without it. However, this year I have been trying to be a lot more positive, so I am going to give this lovely holiday my all. Instead of reveling in my singleness, I decided it would be better to focus on how loved I am. I mean that is what Valentine’s Day is about, L-O-V-E. So, here is how I plan to spend my Valentine’s Day.
- Spend time with Lord
- Here’s the thing, no one and I mean NO ONE can love you like the Lord can. And with Valentine’s Day being on Sunday this year that gives you an even better reason to spend time with the greatest love of all time.
- Enjoy you family
- Family is there when things hit the fan and they usually pick up the pieces. This Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to take time out of your busy schedule and spend it with your family. Everyone needs a little family time to feel better.
- Kick it with your friends
- As life takes over, careers start and change, people move and start families; it can be hard to keep up with your friends. So, take this time whether it is over the phone, video call, or in person, to check in with your friends. Because let’s face it at one point they were really important in your life, so don’t let time distance you too much.
Whether you are single or deeply in love, everyone can enjoy Valentine’s Day, because I guarantee that people love you. So it only makes sense to spend time with those people! Reminisce, laugh, eat, watch movies, do anything, but do it with those you love. Happy Valentine’s Day!
We’ve all been there. Going home for the holidays and hearing family members and old friends ask if you have a special someone in your life. Truth is you are either still recuperating from that last situation or you are waiting for that special someone to get it together. Either way, the last thing you want to talk about at the dinner table is your struggling dating life. Well, I am here to tell you that you are not alone and that there is nothing wrong with being single
As I’ve gotten older and matured a little, I’ve always felt this pressure to always be in a relationship and if I wasn’t then there was something wrong with me. Between the media, my friends, and my family, it’s been hard to accept this newfound singlehood. However, the fact still remains that sometimes you have to be alone to get yourself together. I’ve heard countless sayings like “You can’t love someone until you love yourself first,” and “Worry about yourself and the rest will come,” or “God is preparing your special someone” or my favorite “How can you expect to have someone in your life, when you don’t even know what you want?”
Well, sometimes the wait is daunting and I may not always be the most patient.
However, I can honestly say, I have never seen myself in this light. I am actually taking the time to get know myself, and I must say that I am pretty amazing. This has been a long time coming, but I trust me when I say that it couldn’t have happened at a better time. So now that I have been on both sides of the spectrum from being madly in love with someone to completely alone, I can say that singlehood isn’t has bad as the movies make it seem. I am achieving my goals and dreams like never before. Now that’s not to say I couldn’t have done this with a significant other, but the truth is it took me to be alone, to get up and go after all the things that I wanted.
So, embrace that singlehood, love yourself, chase those dreams, and once you have done all that God wants you to do at that time He will drop that special someone in your life, I promise.
For years, I told myself and others that I wasn’t a fan of long distance relationships. In addition to the distance, the communication and connection is harder to maintain… or so I thought. It’s funny that as I look at my closest relationships, they tend to live out of state (and my husband and I were dating long distance for a year before he moved to my area).
The main fear of long distance relationships often involve the lack of connection or the extensive obligation that many think it requires. However, when you care about someone—distance becomes minor and you find ways to stay connected. It could be a simple text message periodically to say hello, mailing cards on special occasions, or making the effort of calling to stay actively involved in your loved one’s life.
Instead of seeing long distance relationships as form of obligation or work, let’s simply allow them to be filled with effort through our love. In the midst of life’s busyness—imagine the amount of appreciation your loved one would feel simply by hearing your voice although you’re miles away.
Maintaining long distance relationships aren’t as scary as they seem- they just need two people willing to express love and appreciation in more ways than one.
How have your experiences been with long distance relationships?
I never truly understood the importance of having a peaceful home until I became a wife. It was important to me as a single woman but when joining lives with another person- peace began to have a different meaning.
Peace became sacred, covered, protected, and shield from harm and unwanted outside forces. I am not intentional with how I set the tone in my house, which ultimately guided the mood of all who walks into the doors.
Here are some of the ways that help me to keep and maintain a peaceful home:
- Declutter and maintain order
A clean home is not only inviting, but it helps with the positive vibes and energy of the home. When I first moved on my own, I would dedicate a day to cleaning and do a extensive cleanse of my house. But in the midst of home, family, work, and all other things that’s on our plates—it’s become difficult to do that. So now, every night I have a routine of “tidying” up, room by room. I put away blankets, put all dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down my countertops, and go intentionally through the home to prepare it for the next day. While doing so, I make it a point to slowly calm my mind from the day. It helps me to not go to bed and have my mind still racing. The clean aura of the home creates a welcoming feeling each morning and an inviting space every evening.
- Be Mindful of the company you invite to your home
I LOVE spending time with people. However, I can probably tell you all people who have entered the doors of my home. Every person contains 3 things; a body, a soul, and a spirit. Spirits are transferrable. Have you ever noticed that if you hang around someone who is angry long enough, you will find yourself being short tempered over time? When creating a peaceful environment, intention and discernment are your best friends. Be careful the people you bring into your personal space— especially since motives and intentions are unseen.
- Bless Your Home
Since I can remember, my mother blessed our home with oil. It would be a simple bottle of olive oil that she would pray over—and she will then pray over herself and walk each room with word of prayer and a heart of surrender. Now, as a wife of my own home, I find myself doing the same. Instead of olive oil, I use died sage (which is very similar to burning incense). I start at my front door and go to every corner of my home, ending back at my door and opening the door to allow any unwanted spirits to leave. I wish I could explain the aftermath of it but I can only compare it to PEACE. This has now become a part of my prayer/personal time with God that I look forward to, while increasing my intent to cleanse my home
Peace is provided to us all but we must become intentional to maintain it. What are some of the things you do to help maintain peace in your home?