by STRONG | Sep 21, 2015 | Learn + Grow
The views of others often plaque our minds, our very spirit. They tie up our dreams and strip us of our purpose. Their ability to do that doesn’t reside in its truth, it relies on our acceptance of it.
On last night 3 amazing actresses received awards in honor of the ability to excel in their respective profession, Regina King, Uzo Aduba and Viola Davis. Viola Davis in fact literally making history as the first black actress to win an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. Their greatness in an arena that has omitted their talents could no longer suppress the phenomenal presence they continuously pour out on television screens week after week after week. As we reflect on this day and stand proudly with them to celebrate the monumental achievements they so deservingly received, lets not forget to be present in the fact a moment like this exists. Lets not allow their accomplishment to be a hashtag in remembrance of the a night that will eventually fade. Instead, let it be a sobering reminder that we have to create, support, empower and inspire each other. We have to lift each other on the climb and show up places that don’t always accept us or have opportunities for us to shine. Nonetheless, we must continue to recognize the importance of our presence in those place to create the change we want to see.
There are times when you will not have the connections in place to get you where you would like to be, but you have to push through anyway. The beauty of progress isn’t who gets the reward it’s the understanding that on the shoulders of the winners stand more winners that have laid the pathway and the ground work for events/moments that are far too rare.
So, today tap into your own magic, celebrate someone else’s and get back to work… because there are too many hurdles to jump to stop now. When we welcome acceptance, but fail to acknowledge the problem, we become part of it. Thank you to the women that take hits everyday and keep moving forward into greater. There is so much more to come, but today Viola Davis, Regina King and Uzo Aduba we salute and celebrate with you as you stand in the greatness we have recognized long ago!
Be Inspired,
by STRONG | Jul 6, 2015 | Learn + Grow
Friendship by definition is the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. But what does it truly mean to be a “friend”? There are ten essential aspects of being a true friend….
1. Trust
Without trust your friendship has no foundation, you are not capable of communicating and expressing your true honesty. A true friend can be truthful about feelings, values, goals and desires without hesitation. With trust in a friendship both parties know that the other person won’t hurt them intentionally or do anything to break that trust. Having trust in a friendship is the most valuable detail to having a healthy long lasting friendship.
2. Communication
Communication is a method of enabling people to deeply identify with each other, and, thus, gradually develop the ability to feel close to each other. Having good communication in a true and long-term friendship can be the difference between and argument and understanding.
3. Honesty
As a true friend it is your duty to tell the truth, even when you know the truth may hurt and possibly even cost you your friendship. Honesty is a direct line to trust, if you can not be honest with your friend you are not being your true self. In turn, you are not operating with the intent of giving and receiving the good and the bad of the friendship, you want to conform…not confront when it is time to be honest.
4. Reliability
A true friend understands the importance of time and respects it. Being their when it really counts separates the friends for the foes. Friends sacrifice for the things that matter and if they can’t be there they inform in advance(minus an emergency). Be accountable for your actions or lack of when you are needed.
5. Respect
By definition respect is a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable or important. A true friend should add value to your life in some way. When things hold value you honor them as such, you go the extra mile and you understand when it may be difficult. Respect is earned, but it is first found within. Talk to your friend to understand if you have the same respect levels, if not adjust accordingly.
6. Selflessness
A friendship requires more than one person. Thus, you have to have a clear and concise understanding about what you are willing to give of yourself and accept that your friend may not have the same capacity. Understanding just how selfless you are is key in setting your expectations in friendship.
7. Loyalty
When you say ” I will be there”, “Don’t worry”, I have your back” these are not just phrases, these are verbal commitments that you have ensured to your friend you will uphold. Make sure that it is a mutual understanding by all parties what their definition of loyalty looks like. Outline it so their is no misunderstanding, “my loyalty is to ______ and then you”. It seems harsh, but if everyone is honest there is less room for dysfunction and uncertainty. It is imperative to understand that loyalty is like trust; once it is in question it takes time to reestablish.
8. Patience
Patience is a learned behavior it is developed over time. When you nurture a friendship it is a learning process, you get to know the corks of the other person. However, you have preconceived pet peeves you’ve likely had for sometime, but you have to take in to consideration that you may have to from time to time visit those peeves. Truth is patience is a sign of maturity, so think of it as growth.
9. Constructive Criticism
The delivery and receipt of constructive criticism is paramount. If you can not take or receive constructive criticism, you will never have a true friend or be a true friend. You will forever be surrounded by “yes women” or simply never hold your friend accountable for their actions. A true friend can receive and give corrective criticism in love, while being honest about their insight.
10. Forgiveness
Knowing when the “thing” is so much smaller than your pride is big is forgiveness at its core. Apologizing first does not make you weak or invalidate your point. It simply says to the other person you are worth more than a misunderstanding and words said or unsaid. The ability to understand that forgiveness places no blame it replaces what was once in disarray back into perspective is priceless in a friendship.
So, the next time you think about how great of a friend your are, take a step back and revisit these few key attributes of being a wholehearted friend, a true friend. They aren’t any shows that show you how to be a better friend, when to give up on a friendship or when things are bad how to get back to “why” you were friends in the first place. In parting I leave you with this, evaluate your friendships as often you would your relationship. If it does it grow you, inspire you and bring you joy decide if it is worth holding on to. If it does, make sure you are doing your part to ensure you are actively living up to the title of a true friend. If not, be okay with being a colleague, associates, business partners or acquaintance and leave the beauty of friendship to those who have the guts to be all in!
Be Inspired,
by STRONG | Jul 2, 2015 | Learn + Grow
We have all encountered or maybe experienced it ourselves, stunning and breathtaking on the outside and a broken hot mess on the inside. On the exterior, she seems to have it all; gorgeous clothes with nice matching accessories, top label shoes and purses, great features, intelligence, nice car, big house or condo, college degree or pursuing one.
The expensive vacations she takes, the shopping she does, the five star restaurants and hotels drive her conversations, she patronizes with her family and friends. Little do we know she is living a lie, one big ugly financial lie. Although, she might have looked like a million dollars on the outside, she is a willing penniless slave to debt on the inside. We see these situations often, but are unable to recognize them. The question then becomes how much damage can this one little word really do?
Financial lies create the backdrop that has the undeniable ability to not only destroy your life, but your self esteem as well. The daunting task of fighting to keep up appearances and borrowing money to make to the day will become so overwhelming the person in the mirror may become foreign. Further more, once you tell one lie the cycle of telling more is inevitable which leads to fostering bad habits, lack of trust in relationships and personal insecurities. Rationalizing spending habits, or the displaying of wealth that you truly do not have is a direct road block to obtaining the lifestyle you really desire. It doesn’t matter how you paint the picture, if it is a fake, it will get exposed and the lie will catch up with you. Ultimately, when it does you have to stand in the mist of your mess and figure out how you are going to clean it all up.
Here are a few tips to get you started if you are battling this 3-letter word:
• Admit you have lost your financial way and you need help
•STOP, when you feel the urge to spend money you don’t really have or tell a lie to cover up one you told before simply don’t do it.
• Take inventory of the items you have, determine those that may be able to give you a return in some way. Take those items and use them to generate revenue that can immediately help you pay off some debt or bills.
•Be creative, take a moment to reflect on what brought you joy before spending money became your vice. Once you have an idea tap into how you can make that work to your benefit.
•Forgive yourself and start the journey to rediscovering who you where before you became lost in a sea of exterior acceptance.
•Set a budget and stick to it! If you need help ask, there is no shame in gathering the tools and information needed to be the best you.
The next time you encounter that flawless well put together beauty while shopping, walking down the street, at work, or wherever, don’t be so quick to assume that she have it all. The odds are great that she may be living a lie, a financial lie. No one has a place to judge another, but we do have an obligation to leave the world better than we found it. Make sure you are not missing opportunities to make a significant impact on someone you may be able to help escape the grasp of the 3 letter word waiting to sink their finances.
Be Inspired,
by STRONG | Jul 2, 2015 | Faith + Expressions
Does he know that when she was birth into this world his life would never be the same
Does he know?
Does he know the power he gives her each time he holds her hand or opens her door.
Does he know?
Does he know the feeling she feels when you looks in his eyes when she is unsure of herself
Does he know?
Does he know that every moment in her life going forward will bring her back to a place in time he stamped on her heart
Does he know?
Does he know her belief in her hopes and dreams stem from the confidence he gives her when he smiles
Does he know?
Does he know that one day he will not be able to protect her from hurt placed upon her by the world
Does he know?
Does he know that in her finest hour she will always look for him
Does he know?
Does he know that no matter how old and grey he becomes, he will always be her first love
Does he know
Does he know his little girl will one day grow up and become a grown woman and base her value on how he valued her
Does he know?
No really, does he know?
Be Inspired,
Copyright © 2014 Coupe Scott
by STRONG | Jul 2, 2015 | Learn + Grow
Who is responsible for your happiness? In a nutshell happiness in its most basic form connects you with the inner most part of yourself. It creates the space for all other attributes to plant, grow roots and sprout up and blossom. We tend to think of happiness as this factious feeling that we cannot truly define in words, so we simply disconnect from the idea that it is a necessary individual attribute that should be paramount, especially when you want to engage in being apart of anything that involves anyone other than just you.
In 2013, Harris Poll conducted a poll that showed that 1/3 of people in the United States consider themselves happy. In other words, about 67% of Americans are unhappy with their lives. Lets look at that percentage for a minute, 67% of people are unhappy for something we as individuals have control over plaques the US population. Many of those in that percentage being in their 20’s and 30’s, or Generation Y, as they are often called.
You would think that with the internet, social media and “reality” television people would be able to pin point and hone in on what brings them happiness, where to find it and how to nurture it. WRONG!!
Happiness is self-owning it should not be attached to anything, anywhere or anyone, because the moment you equate it with those things you release yourself of accountability for your happiness. Let’s be clear, you will never be able to fit in a box of other people’s happiness without compromising your own. Compromising is a character trait, not to be confused with a key attribute. Meaning going to the store to get the iPhone 5s in silver, but all they have is gold so you compromise and take what is available. Your life is not a compromise, your happiness it not a compromise.
You have to own your stuff. You cannot make excuses for the things that have affected your life and made your happiness waiver. See, here is the thing am I not saying you will walk around each day and only feel happiness? No! However, I am saying that it is your choice to be at the base of your pyramid, deciding what you are willing to hold up and what is weighing you down.
I am telling you this now, because you have to get this, RIGHT NOW; if you haven’t before today. Taking control of your happiness is not an option it is a requirement to live your best life. It will afford you the opportunity to live with intent. You will be able to communicate with others more effectively {because you know what we will and will not do}, embrace that NO is a complete sentence and own that you never have to apologize for your personal power {STRONGtip: stop apologizing for things you have no control over, be sympathetic, not apologetic}.
You are responsible for your happiness and if you don’t begin to close the gaps that reside in the foundation {happiness} no matter how pretty the building, it will eventually fall.
Be Inspired,
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