Here I am, that all too familiar place. A place where my passion for people, health, wellness, and above all else, connection with The Lord boils inside of me. Sometimes this Surge in me is overwhelming. So much so that I try to find ways to release it. I try to put all that bottled up energy in me towards something, ANYTHING, because I feel like have to do something with it. And yet, as usual, I end up back in this same place, spinning.
I feel like the more I try to release this “surge” in me the more unsuccessful my attempts are each time, and it leaves me feeling like all of these attempts are in vain. The more I sit down at my computer with so much to say and this deep desire to reach the masses, the more aimless and confused I feel at what i really need to do to put this passion into action.
“Always remember to fall asleep with a dream and wake up with a purpose”
I wonder to myself frequently, “Why do I get so close to breakthrough, and then for some reason it never comes”. Is there a reason that I have such intensity and Vigor now? Is there a purpose that I am needing to fulfill in my own unique way that I am missing the mark on? Because I definitely feel like that. I also believe that I am so close to it, and yet for some reason, it is still not in my line of sight.
I know that my role in my home is crucial, as a mother, as a wife, and as someone who wants to spread the Gospel. Yet, I feel like I have the capability to pursue dreams, and business and intertwine all of these things together to innately form, this “Purpose” that I know is from none other than God Himself. I am compelled more and more to find presence in each moment.
These thoughts, emotions, and urgencies drifted around in my mind as I was driving to a networking meeting with my toddler in the back seat. Then suddenly I heard her humming the tune to a familiar song. We both knew this song, but, this time, I “HEARD” this song, and what God was revealing to me through the chorus.
“When you don’t move the mountains, I’m needing you to move…
When you don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through…
When you don’t give me answers when I cry out to you….
I will trust, I will trust, I WILL TRUST IN YOU!”
Yes, Lord. I hear you now.
These moments flooded me before the Arise Conference here on Oahu at Inspire Church created by Lisa Kai. Women, POWERFUL WOMEN, like Lisa Kai, Lisa Bevere, Dawn Cherie, and Janine Kubala all were scheduled to speak at this women’s conference. Lisa was given a word for this conference by The Lord and placed it on her heart to share with all of us who attended.
Wow. At first, I did not really know how “NOW” would resonate with me in my walk with The Lord. I knew I wanted a breakthrough NOW, I knew I wanted a clearer path NOW, I knew I wanted to get rid of these condemning voices in my mind NOW. But The Lord knew exactly what He wanted to plant in the hearts of women at this conference, and it extended far beyond myself. The word “NOW” was more than a word for individuals. It was a call to action, to rise up as a womanhood, and each Pastor wove together this intricate and life altering message beautifully.
Lisa Kai Spoke the first evening that I attended. Her lead in immediately set the air for my mind to put aside seeing “NOW” in a selfish and self-serving light. Lisa urged that “If we knew the NOWNESS of God, we would sense the Urgency of NOW.”
2 Corinthians 6:1-2
“We are working together with God. We ask you from our hearts not to receive God’s loving-favor and then waste it. The Holy Writings say, “I heard you at the right time. I helped you on that day to be saved from the punishment of sin. NOW is the right time! See! NOW is the day to be saved.”
Lisa called us to return to our first loves, above our children, husbands and businesses. A Love that is intentionally devoted to God, day in and day out. If we re-establish our relationships with God as first in our lives, then we are setting up ourselves to allow God to deposit on our hearts our assignment. Then, and only then, priorities in place, can we boldly answer, “YES, LORD.”
Lisa continued to explain that there is an urgency that needs to be intertwined in our obedience of answering the calls that God lays on our hearts.
I took a deep breath, exhaled it. I agreed with everything that was said. Most importantly I could feel my spirit in complete agreeance with what was being stirred within. I deeply desire to be called, and boldly answer “YES”! However, I still had this block. I could still feel it lodged in my throat. I kept wondering, what is it, God? What are you calling me to do Father!? But I knew I needed to place that frustration on the side, for now, and press into the message.
Perfectly timed, Lisa Kai brought up Purpose and Calling. (Haha very funny God) Clearly laid out. Mission, she expressed, was our duty to bring Heaven to Earth. Hebrews 4:3-11 cushioned that call with a steadfastness that is necessary when living out this purpose. Additionally, never to be overlooked, Disobedience is a HUGE barrier to us really fulfilling our mission.
“In the Holy Writings, He said this about the seventh day when He made the whole world, “God rested on the seventh day from all He had made.” But God said this about those who turned against Him, “They will not go into My rest.” Those who heard the Good News first did not go into His rest. It was because they had not obeyed Him. But the promise is still good and some are going into His rest. God has again set a certain day for people to go into His rest. He says through David many years later as He had said before, “If you hear His voice today, do not let your hearts become hard.”
If Joshua had led those people into God’s rest, He would not have told of another day after that. And so God’s people have a complete rest waiting for them. The man who goes into God’s rest rests from his own work the same as God rested from His work. Let us do our best to go into that rest or we will be like the people who did not go in.
Hmmm…Disobedience. What form has this taken in my life and my walk with my Savior? She urged us to ask ourselves these cutting questions, evaluating if we had ever REALLY asked God WHAT our calling is. Had I done that?
I give you a new Law. You are to love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you. 35 If you love each other, all men will know you are My followers.”
Lisa then prompted us to LOVE the NOW. FORGIVE NOW. and LET GO NOW.
LET GO NOW… of the things that we reintroduced into our lives that take us off path every time, let go of people that do the same and let go of allowing ourselves to be the ones that get in the way.
Yup, I needed that…. Ouch… a good ouch. I had been CHOOSING to be frustrated. I chose to allow the enemy to have room in my mind. and I CHOSE to LISTEN TO HIM instead of GOD and HIS TRUTH in my mind. I had been listening to LIES!! This was the root of it all. I knew that NOW I needed to give that space to its rightful owner, GOD.I knew I need to press in harder than ever before to pursue God and His Word. I had to stop the Enemy in His tracks and send him packing with the Filling of The Holy Spirit and The Word of God in my Mind and Heart!
It may seem like a minor triumph. But the struggle in the mind is the reality of Spiritual Warfare and it is no way minor. So if this is an area that you struggle I urge you to get with Sisters in Christ and have them pray for you and with you. And on top of that seek counseling with a woman in your church who can mentor you! (I still need to do this) But lets not wait to overcome this so we can pass on Victory to our children.
The mind blooms into action, or in my case lack of action. The enemy shut me up, made me hate myself, and riddled my life with doubt, questions with no answers, and a sickening anxiety and depression that made it impossible to connect and KEEP good friends, let alone healthy relationships with a man. Choosing to listen to the enemy made me insecure instead of BOLD, fearful instead of FAITHFUL, worried about judgment instead of fixated on ETERNITY, selfish instead of SELFLESS, and hopeless instead of OVERFLOWING WITH JOY AND LAUGHING AT THE FUTURE.
Get up. Stand on your feet. I have chosen you to work for Me. You will tell what you have seen and you will say what I want you to say. This is the reason I have allowed you to see Me.
NOW I realized that is was time to claim the victory of the Cross over my life, and my family’s lives canceling out any power of sin over the generations before me. It was time for me to change what the next generation would receive. Righteousness and victory over sin is what will be the trademark of our generations to follow, seasoned with a beautiful and rich relationship with The Father.
Dawn Cherie was another penetrating Woman Pastor at the Arise conference. She brought up a reality that I needed to adopt into my own life. She said that the Cross is not to be treated like a teeter totter. It is a bridge to our Savior Jesus Christ. We cannot go back and forth, once we cross then we NEVER go back to our old ways of being nor thinking!
I heard my spirit realizing that this is exactly what I had been doing. I knew I could not lose focus because when I do my sight becomes self-consumed instead of being focused outward.
Janine Kubala pleaded with us during her sermon that it is time to change the channel in our minds. Wow. Yes, it sure as heck was long past time for me to grab the remote and hand it back over to The Lord. Janine also made a pertinent connection for me, which gave me a powerful tool to resist slipping back into destructive thinking patterns. She said, “Freedom is our ability to overcome our giants,” that “Freedom is not our destination, rather it is our farm of mind.”
Boom. That was the last thing I needed to push my spirit to the point of breakthrough. God knew that things would boil down for most of us like this. Getting to the root of where we relinquished power to the enemy instead of Insisting that every aspect of our lives be molded and entrusted to our creator.
This was my chance to acknowledge and MOVE FORWARD! Man, did it feel good to peel away years of self hatred that led to my addiction to self-mutilation, alcohol, marijuana, pride, and self-absorption. They all washed away through the power of The Cross. I think that as I was walking in my faith I forgot that the power of the Cross is not just for new believers. It is accessible to us and NEVER loses its strength! IT actually becomes stronger as we allow it to reign in our LIFE! Hello!!
These women had messages for every woman at the conference I have no doubt. Life changing messages. So if you didn’t catch my “NOW” here it is.
“NOW” it is time for me to look beyond my past pain, and deploy the Victory of the Cross to touch the lives of those who need healing.”
“NOW” I am taking vigor into my offensive position, it is time for women to Rise. Lisa Bevere Urged us to “STAY AT OUR POSTS.” She told us, “DONT YOU DARE ABANDON YOUR POST NOW.”
“IT IS TIME FOR US TO COMBAT FEAR SO THAT GOD CAN BRING FORTH HIS PROMISES!”
What is your “NOW”?
I could not possibly capture all of the amazing scripture, intimate moments with The Lord, and wisdom that was shared by these amazing women, and imported on them by our Almighty and Loving Father. So looks like you just have to come to next years Arise Conference!
Here are some of the main points that I was able to capture that were important to me!
- Have Urgency in pursuing God
- Live for God only
- Stop abusing Gods grace
- Be obedient and Submit to Being Led
- Talk to God about Everything
- Echo His Voice and Share my story
- Get into the Lives of people Genuinely
- Use my mouth to Glorify God
- Speak God word over mine and my Family’s lives
- Speak the Truth Always
- Tell people what God is doing in my Life
- Stand at my post and Never Back Down
- Keep our home sacred and Honor God with it
- Separate the Precious and the Bile
- Stop putting Question Marks where Exclamation Marks belong
- Stop Comparing myself to others
- Be the type of woman I want to see more of in the world
- Keep my Channel on God and His Word
- FIGHT BACK against negative thoughts
- Be available
- Speak Hope
- Know Gods Word
- The Cross is a Bridge NOT a Teeter Totter
- Press on and Know that Nothing is impossible with God
- START NOW
Thank you to Lisa Kai and the other amazing women who lifted us up and awoke the power within each and every one of us. I will NEVER be the same and I could not be more thrilled about it.
“But make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!”
Have Grit Sweet Ones,