by Taylor Gardner | Feb 9, 2016 | Family + Relationships
As women, and even people in general, it is easy to get caught up in the hype and lose yourself completely. So often we agree to do things with or for people because we don’t want to disappoint them. And when we do say no, it is a huge problem or at least we feel as if it is. But, what about you? Why should you always be the one to give in? Now, I am not saying never do anything for anyone ever again, but I am saying be intentional with who and how you spend your time.
In our world, being selfish has gotten a bad reputation and rightfully so. However, sometimes it is okay to be selfish, when it is the right kind of selfish. You can’t constantly give yourself without taking the time to re-energize. Now, this may be the introvert in me, but there is nothing better than taking a night to be completely by myself, doing whatever I WANT. Whether I take to time to write, read a book, take a relaxing bubble bath, drink a glass of wine, or just let my mind wander until I fall asleep, it is just nice to have that time be about me and only me. I love my friends, coworkers, and family, I really do, but I have learned to love myself a little more. I began to see a difference in the way I felt about myself and treated others after I started taking some time for me. And let me tell you it was much needed mood change. I used to feel bad for telling my friends I couldn’t go out with them or telling my boss that I couldn’t stay that extra hour, but I realize that it was best for my well-being that I do less when necessary and I encourage you to do the same thing!
This time alone doesn’t have to be boring, but it should be all about you and what you like. If you want to go to a museum, do it! A trip to a new city, do it! Wine tastings, do it! Sit in your house and do absolutely nothing but watch Netflix, do it! You deserve to treat yourself to a little me time at least monthly, I promise you won’t regret it. DON’T completely shun people out of your life or neglect your responsibilities, but BE the right kind of selfish. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
xo,
Taylor G.
by Taylor Gardner | Feb 9, 2016 | Family + Relationships
While I have not yet been blessed to be a Mom, which I know will come in the future, I have been fortunate enough to be a big sister to two young men and three young ladies. And as much as we fight and they certainly can get on my nerves, I would not be the person I am or be as happy as I am without them. So to express my love for them since siblings don’t usually do that, I wrote my young queens a little letter. (The one for my brothers is coming a tad bit later)
To my darling younger sisters,
Let me start by saying that each of you holds a special place in my heart.
You are spontaneous, caring, funny, loving, optimistic, intelligent, and beautiful.
DO NOT let one single soul, male or female, steal your joy or devalue you.
There will be naysayers and haters, because they are jealous of all the things that you can and will do.
NEVER doubt yourself, because anything that you think you can accomplish, you will.
KNOW and BELIEVE that your skin, body and hair are beautiful! I know you may not see many people that look like you, but you are perfect the way you are, no matter what anyone says.
Embrace the fact that you are different, because that is what makes you so special.
And most importantly, if you feel like you have no one, understand that I love you more than words can explain and that I am always here for you.
My life was a lot less fun before each of you entered my life and I am determined as your big sister to make sure that no one ever breaks you down, because the world and most definitely me needs each of you.
Love always,
Taylor
by Kiersten Homalon | Feb 9, 2016 | Faith + Expressions
Break Though
You know when that moment is near
The voices in your head growing
The sound of victory muddled by the world around
There is power in that name
and its power will abound
Lifting up the focus for the heart that needs direction
intention is set and its beyond our own reflection
Outward vision never easy to maintain
The heart is selfish but victory is in the rejection of the vein
Breakthrough is never gentle
It comes from gripping and strain
But with that warm presence nothing can have this power detained
So set your sails and let the wind lift them up
because Victory is in you
And through the defeat it will cut!
®Kiersten H.
by Altimese Nichole | Feb 9, 2016 | Learn + Grow
In the corporate world, having to deal with a hostile or difficult work environment is inevitable. The longer we work with others, the more apparent our differences become. The differences are not a bad thing but how we respond to them can be. Here are the 3 R’s to practice when dealing with a difficult work environment:
- Reflect upon your actions first.
When faced with conflict, it’s easy to play the blame game. “Why are they doing this to me? What did I do to them? Because of them, I can’t.” Sound familiar? Before seeking fault, look within yourself and see what you could possibly do to bring light to the situation. Often times, people resist change and the things (or people) they don’t understand— or can most associate with. We tend to have a lot in common with the people who irritate us the most. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but its worth considering before pointing out the flaws of another person.
- Remember your WHY.
Think of all of your dreams, desires, and goals. Now think of your family and where you envision yourself being 5 years from now. What does that picture look like? Does your workplace align with that vision? If so, remember your WHY. Along with great reward comes great responsibility. The adversity is simply preparing you for the greatness ahead (the resilience you will need once you get there). This very moment is preparing your for something, don’t fight against it. Ironically, when you begin to see it from this lens– the issues with co-workers begin to disappear, simply because it’s not important. Every company has office politics; it’s our job to find the one that we can deal with while striving for our goals . If your job doesn’t align with your WHY, run quickly to find one that does. We all have one life to live– why waste time outside of purpose? The only person dictating your career is YOU. Take ownership of your title as CEO of your life– and do what you must to get where you should be.
- Rise Above
Remember, “Birds of a feather flock together; Eagles soar alone.” Even in the midst of injustice, we must push past our desire to be understood and heard– and rise above. Take the high road and using prayer and kindness as your weapon of choice. Is this hard to do? Absolutely. Is it still necessary. Absolutely. People are always watching and its often people you least expect. The ignorance, pettiness, and gossip within the workplace is not worth stepping out of character. Rise above it all.
When you’re faced with workplace annoyances; Reflect, Remember and Rise.
Do you have any additional tips for dealing with a difficult or hostile work environment?
Share your insight with us!
XOXO
by Altimese Nichole | Feb 9, 2016 | Family + Relationships
True Friends are worth making the effort for when life gets busy. As we challenge ourselves to live a life of intentional behavior, here are some ways to help us be more intentional with improving our friendships:
- Periodically Check-in
For some reason, many believe that effort must be equivalent to something grand, or extremely time consuming. This is not necessarily true! Effort could be as simple as a text to say hello (which can be scheduled within your phone, by the way), A kind message on through a social platform, or a brief 5 minute call. For me, life is busy! In the midst of a full time job, a full-time marriage, and full-time dreams– I am still expected to maintain my relationships to the best of my ability. Well- in Atlanta, I am not excluded from traffic! While in traffic (and using my bluetooth and voice command service in my car), that’s when I catch up with loved ones. Every Sunday as I plan for my week, I write down 2-3 names of friends and family in my planner and write down the best day to call. Writing this down helps me to remember, and it also make it just as important as all other things on my calendar. Random “thinking of you” notes are always great too!
- Learn their language of Love
We all have 5 core love languages but the rankings change for every individual! Many apply the love languages to their spouse or significant other but love languages apply to ALL relationships, including friendships. My love language is time for the majority of my relationships. However, a dear friend of mine has a love language of word of affirmation. As her friend, I choose to speak life into our brief conversations and she makes the effort to make time for us to catch up– even in the midst of her busy family life. By us taking the time to truly learn one another’s love languages, it removes any assumptions and helps us tap directly into showing appreciation for one another.
- Seek friendship God’s Way
The word “friend” is taken too lightly in many situations.True friendship takes time, tests, and success through the tests. In the Book, The Woman Code by Sophia Nelson, Ms. Nelson states the following:
“To be a “sister” is to be a friend. To be loyal. Tried-and-true. It is to give a smile, lend a hand, and practice friendship. it is to be forgiving. to be a covering, a balm, a helping hand, a fierce advocate and builder of other women. Being a “sister” means you value other woman as you value yourself.”
Being a true friend goes beyond a word and requires the act of love toward another person. Make it a point to seek God’s Word and guidance as it pertains to friendship. He will never fail you.
If you haven’t had a chance, please pick up a copy of 31 Days of Intentional Behavior, written by ours truly– STRONG Founder, Coupe Scott!!
Want to learn more about Sophia Nelson’s book, The Woman Code: 20 Powerful Keys to Unlock Your Life? Check out my recent book review and be inspired!
XOXO
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