She’s Social: The Thanksgiving Challenge

She’s Social: The Thanksgiving Challenge

The end of November is here, yes already, and with it comes THANKSGIVING! I know the commercial world would love it if we all forgot about Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas, but Thanksgiving is such a vital holiday that we don’t need to just skip over. The heart of the holiday is in the name, giving thanks. Focusing our minds and hearts on the people we are thankful for and the circumstances we are thankful for. Sure giving thanks doesn’t generate money, but it generates gratitude and togetherness, things that can’t be bought in a store Thursday evening. Remember the days when Thanksgiving meant cooking all morning, eating all day, and then sleeping it away all evening until 12:00am came along and TRUE black Friday began? Now, Black “Friday” begins 6:00pm completely cutting between quality family time all in the name of money. Let’s take back Thanksgiving! Let’s make it how special it use to be when we were growing up! I would like to present to you The Strong Thanksgiving Challenge, in which we focus on thanks and gratitude and time spent with love ones, not rushing off to go gather more material things but rather truly being together and giving and showing thanks!

  1. Put all electronics in a box when guest enter your house or the house that is hosting, this will bring MINDFULNESS
  2. Help cook or prepare the table with the older generation, this will bring TOGETHERNESS
  3. Create conversation amongst the table when dinner starts, this will generate MEMORIES
  4. Let the older generation talk about life when they were growing up and truly listen, this will bring GRATITUDE
  5. Play a game with your loved ones after dinner, laugh as hard as possible, this will bring THANKFULNESS
  6. Do not shop for black Friday until 12:00 am Friday morning, this will bring SIMPLICITY

Let us know if you accept and fulfill the challenge and how it changed your Thanksgiving this year!

With love and big smiles,

Torrie.

Mommy Knows: Dear Daughter,

Mommy Knows: Dear Daughter,

Dear Daughter,

I know you look at me and see Super-Mama, as that is what you call me when I fix your boo-boo’s or find your toy that you thought had gone missing forever. You feel safe in my arms as I read bedtime stories to you and pray over you before we go to sleep. You feel confident when I say “Great Job!” or “Wow! What an awesome idea.” You feel brave when I remind you that God makes you mighty and strong and you realize that you can conquer anything, even your stinky little brother. I know through your eyes I am unbreakable and super even when I have to correct you, you look at me with those forever hopeful eyes and understand why mommy got upset with you. I have a major secret to tell…are you ready?

My superhero armor is only this strong because of you. You see before you I really only thought about myself. My days were filled with what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. I was pretty lost, just doing what everyone else was doing and felt so empty. Then you came into our lives, forever changing it by adding more color, boldness, and truth disguised in tutu’s and singing. I feel super when I get to help you in any way. You make me feel safe when you ask to cuddle up with me or kiss my head when you know I have a headache. You give me confidence by asking me questions and truly wanting to know the answer. You fill me up with bravery every morning that we are blessed to wake up and start our days. I feel unbreakable, I feel strong and powerful because of you. All my superhero qualities are a product of you.

So I guess what I want to say is thank you. Thank you for finding me, believing in me, trusting me and molding me into this confident Super-Mama! Thank you for all the lessons and the plot twist that you often bring about and thank you for being you so fearlessly and unapologetically. Thank you for pulling out the Super hero in me. I love you daughter.

Love mama!

Torrie Oglesby

She Loves: How to Speak the Languages of Love

She Loves: How to Speak the Languages of Love

Love is a universal language that everyone loves, accepts, and craves. However the style of the love language differs for every individual on earth. While love resonates best for some through quality time, others prefer acts of service or words of affirmation. Which language are you? Which languages are those closest to you?

 

The 5 love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch and Gifts. We all receive love through them all but they are normally ranked differently for every individual. Here are some ways to speak each of these for the loved ones in your life.

 

Words of Affirmation

  • After completing a task, project, or chore around the house- tell the person “You did an amazing job!”
  • Always say “Thank You” and tell them you appreciate their presence in your life
  • Never seek a reason to say, “I Love You.” Just tell them at random times to show you’re thinking of them
  • Verbally encourage the person when they’re going through; become their cheerleader!

 

Acts of Service

  • Intentionally seek ways to lighten their to-do list
  • Always show that you’re reliable and dependable
  • For your spouse, do things around the house for them without them asking

 

Quality Time

  • Make an effort to call them randomly throughout the week to check on them
  • Seek ways to spend time with them (whether via skype, phone call, or in person—which is always best), and hold to your appointment
  • Never make it a habit with cancelling “dates”

 

Physical Touch

  • If it’s your spouse, warmly embrace them often; If it’s a friend, hug them or link arms with them when you reconnect.
  • For a spouse, understand that physical touch is more than just physical intimacy or sex. Touch them daily when you pass by them. (It doesn’t matter where but the graze of your touch reminds them of being wanted).
  • For a spouse, hold hands often; for a friend, make a secret handshake or fist bump often.

 

Gifts

  • The size of the gift doesn’t (normally) matter. Take the time to LISTEN to the things your loved ones speak about and buy them something that aligns with the things they discuss. For example, if they love fashion, gift them with a subscription for a Fashion Magazine.
  • Randomly buy them their favorite chocolate/items/ thing.
  • If they tell you what they want— just buy that! That shows that you’re listening.

 

If you’ve never done so, I encourage you to take the 5 Love Language assessment and encourage those you love to do the same! There are tests for couples, singles, and more!

Learn the languages of love and you can speak directly to the hearts of those you love most!

Share with us your love language and way’s you’ve taken time to speak the love language of others!

 

ALTIMESE - asig

She’s Poetic: It Is Finished

She’s Poetic: It Is Finished

These tears I’ve cried are overflowing the tub now

And yet these scars are beginning to heal somehow…

The pain is becoming lighter with each step I take…

But this journey is long and the one thing I’ve learned is everything is not what it seems

But you don’t learn that until after you’ve been naïve…

Rock bottom, you’ve hit rock bottom and you’re on your way to recovery.

Yet it’s so hard to see how God would still love bruised up, messed up, angry me?

This season has left me dead.

 

They say the fire refines you.

But you can’t get through it without getting burnt

Their hurtful words, metaphorical bullets, ended up being the lessons learned.

They say there’s a time and season for it all

Maybe there’s hope for these dead bones to live after the fall.

 

And now I sit here searching for forgiveness and all the good things

But every time I do, the nastiness from yesterday is all that my memories bring.

And then I hear a whisper, “grace and forgiveness”

And I go to the place where Christ said “It Is Finished.”

And I realize that it’s that battle that Christ fought on the cross

That allows me to continue on this long journey and though I wandered I am not lost.

“Your wounds will heal, your heart will forgive. This season is over daughter…

It’s time to live.”

 

®torrie 2015

She Connects: The Disguise of Aloha

She Connects: The Disguise of Aloha

In general, as Americans, I do not think that a single one of us can claim that we have nothing to be grateful for. We are privileged. Especially for me, as a Colorado born woman living in Hawaii amongst many cultures, some indigenous and others from overseas, I am constantly reminded of how privileged I am. Hawaii is a common ground for many who traveled here generations ago to work for the Dole Plantation, or for local farms and some for the cane fields. These are cultures that derived from third world countries, where poverty was their motivation to flee to the land of Aloha, out of a necessary means to provide for their families. This molded Hawaii into a hub that is desperately clinging to its Hawaiian traditions, while there is a wide variety of cultures embarking on it. I heard someone describe Hawaii as “A third world country, with first world amenities.” Many see Hawaii only in movies or in pictures in magazines, but the reality of Hawaii is so different than many will ever know, and it takes living amongst the people to fully understand it. My husband is a local boy who grew up on the North Shore of Oahu. His favorite memories involve his dad fishing with him early in the morning, tending to his roosters, and living in Haleiwa in a communal home with his entire multigenerational family and only fire to heat the water for their single outdoor shower.

My husband is a man, that came from a life that some would describe as little or maybe even lacking, but with his big heart and open eyes, he sees his life growing up as having everything. He grew up having the values of a world that has long been passed on the mainland and usually is only found in small farming communities. They value family above all and honor God with their thankfulness no matter what. This is what drew me in about the Islands, the people. This is what is TRUE Hawaii is.

It is no secret that living in Hawaii is hard. With prices of food, the ratio of supply and demand with housing out of balance, and the difficulty in finding suitable work, making a living is better described as, “Completely remolding your standard of living”. I for one have gone from my single days in Colorado in a 1 bedroom apartment for about $500 a month right in the heart of the most desirable part of town, to now looking for a rental, for my WHOLE family, and considering a 1 Bedroom apartment, for over $1800 a month. For most, when they realize that remolding standards and changing life styles are a necessity to survive here, they usually decide to leave. Like I said, Hawaii is not only what you see in the Magazines. Others, like us, come to a point where they see what Hawaii is about, and they deem it as necessary to be where their souls feel called. And the life style change for me has been a wonderful process of simplification that I think many could benefit from. Leaning on God has been something I have struggled with for years and now, slowly God is working on my heart, gently as He always is. I cannot even count the amount of times where my husband and I looked at each other knowing full well that our bank account and ice box were empty, and prayed that we could make it another week in this condition. Seems impossible, even to me sometimes, but with out fail every time God stretches our food, and reminds me that the Spirit of Aloha is abundant here in Hawaii. I cannot even count the number of times our family has been invited to a cook out and my husband’s aunty will send us home with enough home cooked food to last us through until the next pay day, in fact she insists and will pile your arms full of food as you’re walking out the door, simultaneously kissing you on the cheek. If that weren’t a blessing enough, our neighbors and friends continually bless us with fruit, avocados, mangoes, eggs, and the funny thing is, is that we haven’t told any of them that we were worried about having food to put on the table. This is the culture in Hawaii. It is hard for everyone here, and yet everyone gives and shares and cares for their family, their neighbors, their friends, and people they do not even know.

The spirit of Aloha I have no doubt is just another name for the Holy Spirit. Every time I return to the homeland, I will step off the plane and the Holy Spirit will sweep over me and uncontrollable tears of Joy flow, sometimes with out me even realizing! On the days that the pressure of life seems to get to me and my husband, we will stop what we’re doing, head to the beach to catch a sunset and in that moment, God gently reminds us the TRUTH of His amazing presence we have unlimited access to! The indigenous flowers here have time and time again been used for the Lord to speak to me, to guide me, and to fill my heart with so much joy. Hawaii, is not like it is in movies or in magazines, because if you live here, and you struggle here, and you bond together with the local people, then you know that it is so, so much better! I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else right now and I am so grateful that God continues to be our provision in EVERY aspect of our lives! I pray that more people get to experience this Spirit of Aloha and that it contagiously spreads for generations to come!

Mahalo Nui Loa,

Kiersten

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